Okay. Funny title. Heavy topic. And not necessarily law related. But it’s been eating (no pun intended) at me.
And before anyone says anything. My qualifications on the topic are: in 2017 I almost died due to complications regarding anorexia nervosa. I was hospitalized, ripped out of everything (swim, school, social activities, everything), and began the long journey of weight restoration, therapy, nutrition appointments, and recovery. And I made it out.
So let’s talk about it. For starters, I will not be adding any photos of Ariana Grande to this post. They are harmful, not just to her, but to anyone currently struggling, to anyone in active recovery, to young girls thinking that is an “ideal” body. Competition fuels eating disorders more than people realize. So no, photos will not be posted.
I grew up in the 2000s. Cocaine skinny was the “it body.” Malnourishment was the trend. I grew up seeing the supermodel body type everywhere, and if there was an inch of fat People or Us or whatever other grocery store magazines would scream that the woman was overweight, chubby, losing control, etc. I watched the same publications destroy Selena Gomez for her weight gain when she was going through Lupus. I then believed that, at an age as young as 10, I was only worth as much as the number on the scale, the size on the tag. My eating disorder began in sixth grade. It gripped me deathly tight sophomore year of high school. I hated my body. No matter how skinny I was. No matter the fact that I was dying in a hospital bed, with a resting heart rate of 37 beats per minute. No number or size was ever small enough.
And the truth of it is, I still do not accurately know what my body looks like. I have achieved body neutrality, despite not actually knowing how I look. And it’s a weird thing to say, impossible to explain. I don’t know how to make people understand that I can’t trust my own eyeballs when looking in a mirror. I am nine years out from dying in a hospital, and I know the body dysmorphia will never truly go away.
And that is likely where Ariana is right now. She does not understand how thin she is. The comments everywhere telling her how thin she is mean well, they do. Like me, they are concerned for her health. But, unbeknownst to most of the people commenting, those comments are adding fuel to her fire. For me, anytime I was told I looked thinner, had lost weight, seemed lethargic, was begged to eat, it made the beast in my chest roar. It added to my resolve, it made me feel like I was able to eat less, to lose more, to be smaller. Recognition is what anorexia thrives on.
But the flip side of that coin is just as dangerous. The body positivity movement screaming “don’t comment on her body” or “respect her boundaries” is just as harmful as the flood of comments. Because it makes her frame seem normal. It shows young girls that there is nothing wrong with being able to count the ribs on your chest, see your sternum, see every divot in the shoulder joint. Natural skinny exists. There is nothing wrong with people who are incredibly thin naturally. But there is a distinction between that, and how Ariana Grande currently appears.
She has always been petite. She has always been small. But, she has also always struggled with her body image, to say the least (sources: various posts on her old tumblr, including this). Unfortunately, her posts, her body checks, everything on her accounts looks very similar to how I struggled from about 6th to 9th grades. It was quieter, it was part of the struggle, it was the eating disorder soft launching itself into my own brain. Very few mental illnesses, if any, start at 100% strength. They just grow quietly until they are no longer able to be ignored.
Eating disorders are addictions. Addictions are (partially) genetic. Eating disorders are no different (source). Just as an alcoholic cannot simply put down the bottle, even as they see their life being destroyed, an anorexic cannot simply eat a burger. And the more the alcoholic is told “just stop drinking!” the more they appear to drink, because they see the well-intended-but-poorly-executed help as people turning against them. But if you ignore the drinking and let them live, saying “it’s their life, respect their boundary, don’t shame them!” they will get worse. Either way, the person is isolated, believing the bottle is their only friend. So what is the solution?
It is interesting that we, collectively as a species, can loudly recognize that intervention for the alcoholic is a necessary and life saving step, but we change tune when it comes to mental health, especially eating disorders. The treatments are very similar. They are both addictions. They need to be treated as such. While the beasts themselves are similar, each person has their own needs in recovery. It is highly personal, highly uncomfortable, but highly effective. Intervention is the first step. Choosing recovery is the second. And the third. And the fourth. Over, and over, every second of every day until the person gets better. That is what needs to happen with Ariana Grande. Her team and her family need to intervene. And she needs to choose and accept help.
There are a lot of voices surrounding this whole topic right now. A lot of people saying don’t comment, a lot of people saying no you HAVE to comment, and no one really knowing exactly what to do. And I don’t claim to know the answer to the situation either. But I do know that we have been watching the physical decline of someone since Wicked Part One, just as the world watched the physical decline of Karen Carpenter. It is heartbreaking, and there are very real, very scary consequences to an illness going that far, and the truth of it is that we, as people who do not actually know her, cannot help Ariana Grande. But maybe our voices can help someone closer to home. Maybe the concern can be talked about at the dinner table. Maybe there can be more education on what eating disorders are, how they operate, and their severity. Maybe one person can see the chatter, recognize a problem, and find help for themself, or encourage a loved one.
I wish Ariana Grande all the best in her upcoming hiatus. I truly hope she chooses recovery and is able to come back to herself and recognize the concern is love, not hate. I truly hope she chooses recovery and does recover, and has no lasting long term complications. But in the meantime, and in light of all the discourse, I encourage anyone reading this to truly educate themselves on eating disorders and addiction, the link between the two, and how people can actually help. It’s a cruel illness. But support and education help everyone in the long run. Each villager needs the village.
Song of the Day: get well soon Ariana Grande
the blawg 
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